Confession Time

I woke up early this morning with a clear conviction in my spirit that I’m quite sure is from the Lord. It’s not a condemning voice; yet, it is stern and clear and, I have to admit, painfully accurate.

We arrived in Louisville on Sunday evening. What I suddenly realized this morning is that the entire time I’ve been here, I’ve had my head stuck in my laptop. Justin wanted to just sit and talk last night, but I was too busy working on something that I thought was important. Same with Stephen when he came over last night. I was busy working on my laptop on NLW stuff, or washing dishes or sweeping the floor. I did a lot of stuff other than simply be with my family.

Then it hit me. That’s how I’ve become–someone who does a lot of stuff, rather than someone who simply is. I believe the Lord is saying in His still, small voice, “Quit doing, and focus on being. Be with your sons. Be with your family. Be with me. Be in my Word.” Seems I’m always working, trying to check off another task.

I need accountability to put up my laptop and simply sit and be with my family while we’re together. I also need to set aside time each day to simply be with my wife. I don’t want their most dominant memory of me to be of me sitting on a couch typing on my laptop. I want them to remember me as fun, loving, engaging and fully engaged in being with them.

I’ve also been slipping in making deliberate time each morning to be focused on God and on His Word and in prayer for myself and others. I’m often distracted and more focused on social media or on what tasks I have to do that day.

Again, I’m doing rather than being–ie, the Martha syndrome. Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, you are cumbered about with much serving, but Mary has chosen that good part (of sitting at my feet), and that will not be taken away from her.”

I believe He is saying to me: “Dwayne, Dwayne, you are weighted down with much serving and doing. Chose first to simply sit at my feet and be my child and my disciple.”

Yes Lord, I will listen and obey. Thank You for your forgiveness, mercy and grace!